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I have spent my entire life in search of something that I could feel, but never find. Something I was certain I desperately needed, but I could not even describe. All of my time and energy was poured into pursuing the obvious, always haunted by moments of insight that briefly revealed the futility of my efforts, yet vanished like vapor from my grasp.

Does this sound familiar?

All of my successes and failures, and flashes of joy surrounded by some pervasive internal flaw, were footsteps on a journey that succeeded in going nowhere.

But, they were not in vain.

Like all true men in this world, all the thinkers and conquerors, all the poets and wizards, I was driven by pain, desperately trying to find something to fill the limitless void inside me.

Until the day I stopped. Admitting failure, I removed the blindfold of determination and prepared myself for the inevitable. My journey's judge would be merciless, for I knew I had gone nowhere.

And there I would have stayed, sentenced and executed, were it not for the grace of one, measureless ingredient, that had been mixed in to the cauldron of my life…

And from that infinite, infinitesimal agent, I suddenly realized the one thing I had discovered in my life, me. *I* had changed.

With the incantation of that thought, in one moment, with one catalytic awareness, the universe ignited, and the desperation of a lifetime was compressed into a singular being, and exploded outward. I no longer sought what could never be found; I created what was needed, for I had become a man.

Here, I have chosen to scribble down formula snippets and catalog some results of my ever-intriguing life. Do not expect to discover, hidden between the lines or buried in the images, the secret element that birthed me into the world, for I give it to you freely:

This blog is about Love.

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We are uniquely empowered in this verse, to choose our actions, our reactions, given any crisis of survival or decisions in the shampoo aisle. 

Our “destiny” is created by us, not read to us. 

And if today is no different than yesterday, our challenge could be no greater…


Good Morning Sol.  
I look forward to holding you close, tonight, and hearing about the choices you made today. 

Daddy Loves You.

We are uniquely empowered in this verse, to choose our actions, our reactions, given any crisis of survival or decisions in the shampoo aisle.

Our “destiny” is created by us, not read to us.

And if today is no different than yesterday, our challenge could be no greater…


Good Morning Sol.
I look forward to holding you close, tonight, and hearing about the choices you made today.

Daddy Loves You.

I awoke to the realization that you were no longer in our bed and I slowly exhaled a disappointed sigh.
I am spoiled, Sol.  I am accustomed to my first experiences of a new day being revels of pride, expectation, and joy as I behold my sleeping Angel.

But alas, as my eyes tune in to Earth’s wavelength, I discover that I am redeemed…by Sol’s stalwart lieutenant Lancelot and my favorite survivor coffee cup, still warm with its precious cargo.

What a blessed day I have had.

Daddy Loves You, Sol.

ispeakalchemy:

This was my version of a Game of Thrones dragon egg that I made for Easter this year.

I had put it in the refrigerator with the intention of eating it later. When, later? you ask. I dunno … Just “Later, Later”.

"Later, Later" came and went. And so did "Even Later". And then "A Lot Later". And now it’s September and I’m just now discovering what is now well and truly a dragon egg behind the container of Miracle Whip on the third shelf.

Seriously thinking this one needs a deep and permanent burial …

Before it leaves the fridge of its own volition….

(via solslittlewindow)

our-amazing-world:

Sankei-en Garden in Amazing World beautiful amazing

I love the trees in the fall…

(via missharpersworld)

Sunday morning. 
Coffee. 
Solrise. 

My blessings, a glimpse of…

Sunday morning.
Coffee.
Solrise.

My blessings, a glimpse of…

It’s okay, Sweetheart, don’t be upset…
You are a Good Girl, and I know how hard you tried.

We can try again tonight, I promise.

solslittlewindow:

her-gift-his-honor:

Yep…. pretty much.

Night night kisses Daddy.

I have to be all over him.

Wow, Sol, we’ve been hacked.  Someone posted a pic from our over-the-bed cam…

ispeakalchemy:

Yesterday, Daddy …

…Tomorrow, the next day, and the next, and…

Here you go Sol…

(via wolfingentsclothing)

ispeakalchemy:

This picture brilliantly describes how I feel when I am with you. 
The rest of the world is swirling, tugging, conspiring, converging; a myriad of currents and tides and eddies and fluxes, all wrenching and plucking, seeking to drag me under.
Alone, I would be uprooted and towed helplessly out to sea. Alone, I would be swallowed whole and drowned. Alone,  I would be overcome and defeated, silenced, empty.
But not with you.
You are a buffer, a force field, a bastion of peace and respite.
You are my harbor and my anchor and my ballast — and when I am with you, nothing else matters.  ~ ispeakalchemy

Yes Sol, I am your Daddy…

ispeakalchemy:

This picture brilliantly describes how I feel when I am with you. 

The rest of the world is swirling, tugging, conspiring, converging;
a myriad of currents and tides and eddies and fluxes,
all wrenching and plucking, seeking to drag me under.

Alone, I would be uprooted and towed helplessly out to sea.
Alone, I would be swallowed whole and drowned.
Alone,  I would be overcome and defeated, silenced, empty.

But not with you.

You are a buffer, a force field, a bastion of peace and respite.

You are my harbor and my anchor and my ballast —
and when I am with you, nothing else matters.  
ispeakalchemy

Yes Sol, I am your Daddy…

solslittlewindow:

What do *you* call “Magic”?

You need to look in the mirror for that…

solslittlewindow:

I still color and paint on the walls.

The kitchen, the hall bathroom, the foyer…
But more so on my heart than anywhere else.

solslittlewindow:

Daddy always says, "Twirl for me, Princess."

And watch my entire world spin…

ispeakalchemy:

I cry harder from the knowledge that I’ve disappointed him than I do from the pain … And the pain’s pretty bad, believe me.

I hurt you, Sol, to take away the pain of disappointing me;Allowing you to remain a Good Girl for Daddy.

ispeakalchemy:

I cry harder from the knowledge that I’ve disappointed him than I do from the pain … And the pain’s pretty bad, believe me.

I hurt you, Sol, to take away the pain of disappointing me;
Allowing you to remain a Good Girl for Daddy.