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I have spent my entire life in search of something that I could feel, but never find. Something I was certain I desperately needed, but I could not even describe. All of my time and energy was poured into pursuing the obvious, always haunted by moments of insight that briefly revealed the futility of my efforts, yet vanished like vapor from my grasp.

Does this sound familiar?

All of my successes and failures, and flashes of joy surrounded by some pervasive internal flaw, were footsteps on a journey that succeeded in going nowhere.

But, they were not in vain.

Like all true men in this world, all the thinkers and conquerors, all the poets and wizards, I was driven by pain, desperately trying to find something to fill the limitless void inside me.

Until the day I stopped. Admitting failure, I removed the blindfold of determination and prepared myself for the inevitable. My journey's judge would be merciless, for I knew I had gone nowhere.

And there I would have stayed, sentenced and executed, were it not for the grace of one, measureless ingredient, that had been mixed in to the cauldron of my life…

And from that infinite, infinitesimal agent, I suddenly realized the one thing I had discovered in my life, me. *I* had changed.

With the incantation of that thought, in one moment, with one catalytic awareness, the universe ignited, and the desperation of a lifetime was compressed into a singular being, and exploded outward. I no longer sought what could never be found; I created what was needed, for I had become a man.

Here, I have chosen to scribble down formula snippets and catalog some results of my ever-intriguing life. Do not expect to discover, hidden between the lines or buried in the images, the secret element that birthed me into the world, for I give it to you freely:


This blog is about Love.


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My Sol’s pages:

I Speak Alchemy (NSFW)

Sol’s Little Window (SFW)

ispeakalchemy:

Thank you, Daddy,

My purpose is to fill you with warm, invigorating fluids…

Smile, Sweetheart. Daddy loves you.

ispeakalchemy:

Even when my heart was breaking, I still KNEW.

It was you.

It was always you.

Thank you for believing in us. Thank you for coming for me. And thank you for loving me back. ✹

A man can conquer the world, see it laid down before him, and still be blind.

Here me now…
Without you to love, I am nothing.
Without you here, beside me, chaos is come.
Without you, there is nothing…

I have chosen who I am, and I will never let us go…

solslittlewindow:

"But Daddy,” she began breathlessly, eyes alight, “I swear, I saw them! The water sprites — they were just there —” she gestured, leaning over the fallen log and pointing with excited fingers into the deep green pool beside her.
Her animation made her clumsy, and the log tilted precariously forward, threatening to dump her into the icy, inky depths of the spring. Without thinking, he stepped forward and reached for her. Her shoulder was small and thin but fit easily in his hand, and he drew her back in one sweet motion, even as he felt the foundation she was leaning on giving way. Pulling her towards him as quickly as he did, only her skirt tails got wet — but very wet, indeed.
Still, she didn’t miss a beat.  With impatient fingers, she dusted off the tree bark from the front of her frock and patted her curls back into place, smiling charmingly at her rescuer and then turning back towards the spring.  Eyes just a tad narrowed, she gently scolded, “Grumpy old water nymphs.  I’ll go play with the pixies today, then!”
 And off she flounced, head high but still wringing her skirts out from her brush with the enchanted lake. ✹


I thought perhaps you had forgotten that afternoon, Sol.It is your innocence that compels them to reach for you.I will always be there for you…
Daddy

solslittlewindow:

"But Daddy,” she began breathlessly, eyes alight, “I swear, I saw them! The water sprites — they were just there —” she gestured, leaning over the fallen log and pointing with excited fingers into the deep green pool beside her.

Her animation made her clumsy, and the log tilted precariously forward, threatening to dump her into the icy, inky depths of the spring. Without thinking, he stepped forward and reached for her. Her shoulder was small and thin but fit easily in his hand, and he drew her back in one sweet motion, even as he felt the foundation she was leaning on giving way. Pulling her towards him as quickly as he did, only her skirt tails got wet — but very wet, indeed.

Still, she didn’t miss a beat.  With impatient fingers, she dusted off the tree bark from the front of her frock and patted her curls back into place, smiling charmingly at her rescuer and then turning back towards the spring.  Eyes just a tad narrowed, she gently scolded, “Grumpy old water nymphs.  I’ll go play with the pixies today, then!”

 And off she flounced, head high but still wringing her skirts out from her brush with the enchanted lake. ✹

I thought perhaps you had forgotten that afternoon, Sol.
It is your innocence that compels them to reach for you.

I will always be there for you…

Daddy

(via hotteaandoranges)

hotteaandoranges:

00davo:

astound:

SO HARD NOT TO DANCE WHEN YOU HAVE EARPHONES ON WALKING BY YOURSELF

I’ve just given up trying not to.

You should see me grocery shopping with Motown on, doin’ my Star Lord Strut. 

I be all like, Yeah, this canned chili be lookin’ mighty fine, or Knock me some a’ that lovin’, rutabaga! 

I just don’t care any more. :) ✹

I have a video.

But, I’m not sure if I want to see “The Wrath of Sol”.

hotteaandoranges:

Leave a piece of you in all those you meet, yes.

But leave a piece that makes them better.  

Very good, Sol.

hotteaandoranges:

Second Hand Lions  

(x)

Everyone remembers a few moments in their lives when they were suddenly affected by something that changed them forever.

A man who has learned to wield such power can change the course of history.  Or devote his life to protecting and counseling the singular few people he has chosen to love without bounds.

"Sometimes the things that may or may not be true, are the things that a man needs to believe in most."
-See this movie.

Thank you for finding this, Sol.

ispeakalchemy:

I need it because you need it, Daddy. ✹

Which shows me what a good girl you want to be for me, Sol. 

However, Little Girl, you should understand that I need it because…

YOU need it.

ispeakalchemy:

I need it because you need it, Daddy. 

Which shows me what a good girl you want to be for me, Sol. However, Little Girl, you should understand that I need it because… YOU need it.

ispeakalchemy:

art-of-swords:

Anatomy of the Rapier

There are a lot of things that could be said and mentioned here, the rapier being quite a complex weapon, but this short and quick presentation should do. 

A rapier is a long, straight-bladed cut-and-thrust single-handed sword optimized for the thrust and featuring a guard that affords good protection to the hand; the rapier sees its apogee between the last third of the Sixteenth Century and the end of the Seventeenth.

The rapier anatomy of the rapier is broken into two distinct parts: The blade, and the guard.

  • Anatomy of the Blade

The blade of the rapier describes the long sharpened piece of metal which all the other parts surround or attach.

  • Tang

At the base of the rapier blade is the tang, which is a long tongue of metal that descends into the guard and ends at the pommel which is screwed onto threading or attached more permanently through [peening] or welding.

  • Ricasso

The unsharpened section of the blade beginning immediately after the tang. When placing a guard onto the blade, the crossbar block slides over the tang and then rests against the ricasso, preventing it from sliding further down the blade. The ricasso can extend from the crossbar block to the outer sweepings or guard shell (meaning the sharpened or more tapered edge of the blade begins immediately after the guard) or further down the length of the blade. The edges of the blade at the ricasso are square/flat.

  • Blade

The sharpened part of the blade is generally what is referred to when speaking of the ‘blade’. This part begins after the ricasso and is the part of the sword used for striking and defending.

  • Edge

The edge of the blade is oriented with the crossbar of the guard and aligns with the knuckle of the hand when holding the sword so that the knuckles lead the edge. On a rapier there are two edges that you can identify when it is held: the true edge (on the same side as your knuckles) and the false edge (on the same side as the base of your thumb).

  • Point

The part of the blade opposite the tang and pommel that is used for penetrating the opponent.

  • Strong

The lower half of the exposed rapier blade, generally used for defense. In Italian the Forte.

  • Weak

The upper half of the exposed rapier blade, generally used for offense (cutting and thrusting). In Italian the Debole.

  • Anatomy of the Guard

The guard of the rapier is the part that protects the sword hand of the wielder.

  • Pommel

A counter weight at the base of the blade, just behind the guard.

  • Turk’s Head

A spacer between the counter weight and handle.

  • Handle

The part of the rapier that you hold. Handles can be made of wood, wood wrapped in wire, wood wrapped in leather, and some other materials. Some handles are shaped to provide comfortable grooves for your fingers or provide other handling or comfort characteristics.

  • Crossbar Block

The crossbar block or alternatively the quillion block is a piece of metal that mounts to the blade just above.

  • Crossbar

The crossbar or quillions are a rod that extend perpendicular to the blade, on either side, and are used for protecting the hand, binding blades, and deflecting the sword of the opponent.

  • Sweepings

The rings and other rods that make up the guard and protect the hand.

  • Knuckle Guard

Sometimes referred to as the knuckle bow, the knuckle guard is a bar or bars of metal that extend down in front of the sword hand, protecting the knuckles. The knuckle guard can be used to identify the true edge of the sword.

  • Cup

The cup or shell is a solid plate of dished metal that surrounds the hand, typically in place of the sweepings, but sometimes in combination on some guards.

Source: Copyright © 2014 Western Martial Arts Wikia

So, Beloved, is this correct inasmuch as the terms are today?

How exciting to think that these terms might be in use “today”.  But, alas, the competitive fencing that I devoted all those years to only dealt with three classes of “sword”: foil, saber, and epee.  And each of these was a minimalist version of what they were in the past.  No aesthetic consideration, just simple, functional purpose.  During any tournament, it was common to lose a weapon during an ill-fated bout, so the investment in each, both material and “emotional”, was kept low.

Fascinating post, Sol.

ispeakalchemy:

Her senses were always heightened when he blindfolded her — and today she could smell the tang of the metal links long before she could hear them rattling against one another as he approached her. 
Shifting impatiently in her seat, she tilted her head back, just barely, nostrils flaring and breath quickening with expectancy. Yes, those were indeed chains, she assessed, and heavy ones, at it. So, he meant business tonight. The thought made her squirm uncomfortably, both in joyful anticipation and a very real fear of what was to come.
He saw her discomfiture; the slight wiggle of her bottom as she tried to allay the excitement building between her legs, …
~ ispeakalchemy  ✹

She was breathtaking to behold.  He was accustomed to this moment, the excitement building in her was palpable, and infectious.  He felt the potency of his own desires wash over his body, urging him to postpone his agenda and unleash himself upon her.  But he had already avoided this lesson too many times, and he could not justify doing so again merely because of his own needs.  
As he stood there, overcoming his moment of temptation, she proudly announced the discovery her senses had made, “You know how I like the big chains, Daddy.”  He had predicted this. Unknowingly, she would present him with temptations that no mortal man could turn away from.  As his mind spoke to the darkness inside, assuring it that the spoils of owning her would soon be known again, but not today.  He replied, “ I know you do, Sweetheart.”  In that instant, she realized something was amiss.  Realizing his response revealed something she wasn’t expecting, he quickly searched for a way to recover. The sound of the chains became the center of the room, and his chance to calm her was gone…
Now gone was the alluring mix of excitement mingled with vague trepidation, replaced by a countenance of white that said only one thing, she was scared.  He took one step toward her, saw her fear, and stopped.  He felt his resolve turn into a house of cards.  His, was to nurture and protect her, not to hurl her into blindfolded terror.  Outside of this room, he would mercilessly eviscerate anything that would cause her to feel this way.  How could he possibly justify what he was doing to her now?  Her fear had become his, and his heart desperately reached out in the fog of this moment to find a way to make it all better.  He stood there, frozen.  Then came a whisper, from deep inside him, that slowly blew back the surrounding mist and revealing a path, familiar to him, built by him, born during the time when he first captured her.  His, was indeed, to nurture and protect her.  And tonight, he was to turn another page of the journal in which they were bound together.  
He felt the heft of the chains upon his fingers, in the time that he had held them, they had stolen energy from him, warming.  He could feel the heart of the chain, like another presence in the room.  A cold heart, but a strong one.  Indeed, the heart of the chain could never fail, it’s very birthright was to never falter, to know only strength.  Stealing energy from that cold heart, he opened his eyes wide.  She was starting to shiver, but he was no longer afraid.  
He knew that tomorrow, she would be stronger.  He knew that tomorrow, she would see beyond his willingness to create her tears, and behold how he collected them all, and cast them into armor that would shield her heart.  
And with one last thought, he spoke to her.  Tomorrow, he reveled, she would love him more…
With a voice of granite:  ”Are you ready?”…

ispeakalchemy:

Her senses were always heightened when he blindfolded her — and today she could smell the tang of the metal links long before she could hear them rattling against one another as he approached her. 

Shifting impatiently in her seat, she tilted her head back, just barely, nostrils flaring and breath quickening with expectancy. Yes, those were indeed chains, she assessed, and heavy ones, at it. So, he meant business tonight. The thought made her squirm uncomfortably, both in joyful anticipation and a very real fear of what was to come.

He saw her discomfiture; the slight wiggle of her bottom as she tried to allay the excitement building between her legs, …

ispeakalchemy  

She was breathtaking to behold.  He was accustomed to this moment, the excitement building in her was palpable, and infectious.  He felt the potency of his own desires wash over his body, urging him to postpone his agenda and unleash himself upon her.  But he had already avoided this lesson too many times, and he could not justify doing so again merely because of his own needs. 

As he stood there, overcoming his moment of temptation, she proudly announced the discovery her senses had made, “You know how I like the big chains, Daddy.”  He had predicted this. Unknowingly, she would present him with temptations that no mortal man could turn away from.  As his mind spoke to the darkness inside, assuring it that the spoils of owning her would soon be known again, but not today.  He replied, “ I know you do, Sweetheart.”  In that instant, she realized something was amiss.  Realizing his response revealed something she wasn’t expecting, he quickly searched for a way to recover. The sound of the chains became the center of the room, and his chance to calm her was gone…

Now gone was the alluring mix of excitement mingled with vague trepidation, replaced by a countenance of white that said only one thing, she was scared.  He took one step toward her, saw her fear, and stopped.  He felt his resolve turn into a house of cards.  His, was to nurture and protect her, not to hurl her into blindfolded terror.  Outside of this room, he would mercilessly eviscerate anything that would cause her to feel this way.  How could he possibly justify what he was doing to her now?  Her fear had become his, and his heart desperately reached out in the fog of this moment to find a way to make it all better.  He stood there, frozen.  Then came a whisper, from deep inside him, that slowly blew back the surrounding mist and revealing a path, familiar to him, built by him, born during the time when he first captured her.  His, was indeed, to nurture and protect her.  And tonight, he was to turn another page of the journal in which they were bound together. 

He felt the heft of the chains upon his fingers, in the time that he had held them, they had stolen energy from him, warming.  He could feel the heart of the chain, like another presence in the room.  A cold heart, but a strong one.  Indeed, the heart of the chain could never fail, it’s very birthright was to never falter, to know only strength.  Stealing energy from that cold heart, he opened his eyes wide.  She was starting to shiver, but he was no longer afraid. 

He knew that tomorrow, she would be stronger.  He knew that tomorrow, she would see beyond his willingness to create her tears, and behold how he collected them all, and cast them into armor that would shield her heart. 

And with one last thought, he spoke to her.  Tomorrow, he reveled, she would love him more…

With a voice of granite:  ”Are you ready?”…

ispeakalchemy:

Nothing is ever real to me
until I can share it
with you.

I have a long list of things that I have seen. Remarkable things that few men have ever witnessed.  Awe inspiring things underlined in every tourists must-see list.

Yet the majority of them are not recognized by my heart, for only half of me was there at the time.

solslittlewindow:

Watch me shine, Daddy.

And how brightly you shine!

solslittlewindow:

Watch me shine, Daddy.

And how brightly you shine!

solslittlewindow:

spgent:

Some people were born in the wrong family, or wrong city, or wrong country. Others were born in the wrong century…

And I’ve uttered these same words how many times? ✹

Just make sure you let me know where you are in time, so I can be misplaced with you.

solslittlewindow:

spgent:

Some people were born in the wrong family, or wrong city, or wrong country. Others were born in the wrong century…

And I’ve uttered these same words how many times? ✹

Just make sure you let me know where you are in time, so I can be misplaced with you.

solslittlewindow:

There’s a time for our Chucks… and then there’s a time to take them off and put on a pair of fire-eating pin-up pumps. ✹

And how marvelous when they occur on the same day…

solslittlewindow:

the-garden-of-delights:

Keira Knightley as Elizabeth Bennet in Pride and Prejudice (2005).

Sitting alone and breaking twigs into minuscule pieces has got to patently be one of the most therapeutic ways to deal with stress in a situation where you absolutely cannot scream and shout and fling sharp, poisoned dagger tips directly into the faces of your most pressing problems.

No, really. ✹

Daddy has placed several piles of fresh twigs in your craft room, Sweetheart.

ispeakalchemy:

Love doesn’t work that way.

True Love conquers all.
Especially the greatest villains of all, ourselves.